Love Saga
by Phoenix43
Summary: Excel SagaLove Hina crossover. Crazy insanity when Excel and Hyatt are sent to the Hinata Sou on a mission. Please R&R! Ch.2 now up!
1. Default Chapter

Love Saga

**(For lack of a better title!!!)**

**A Love Hina-Excel Saga crossover**

Hallo!!! How's everyone doin? I'm fine, and I'm bringing you what's probably the stupidest crossover you'll ever read (and by stupid, I mean funny-stupid). So, prepare your straight jacket and get ready for some insane fun, cause here we go!!!

Koshi Rikado: I, Koshi Rikado…

Ken Akamatsu: And I Ken Akamatsu…

Both: Hereby give all ownership of Love Hina and Excel Saga to the author Phoenix because he has tied us up and…

Phoenix (ME!): Hey, that's not what the card says!!! Now do it right, or I'll ace both of ya!!!

Both: Pardon that last statement. 

Koshi Rikado: I, Koshi Rikado…

Ken Akamatsu: And I Ken Akamatsu…

Both: Both being of sound mind hereby give our permission for the author Phoenix to do and Excel Saga-Love Hina crossover.

Phoenix: Excellent. *laughs maniacally*

*Cue Love Hina theme*

*Cue Excel Saga theme*

Chapter 1: The Madness Begins 

            "Hail Ilpalazzo!" Excel and Hyatt shout in unison.

            "Good morning, Agent Hyatt, Agent…erm, what's your name again?" Ilpalazzo asked.

            "Oh, you think he'd remember my name, I've been here longer than this blue-haired hussy!" Excel says to the cameras. "Excel, my Lord. Don't you remember?"

            "Ah yes, Excel, of course."  
  


            Excel gets hyper and begins to jump around and shout. "Yes, so, what will you have us do today, your lordship? Will you have us scale a mountain? Or blow up a building, or plant a bomb in a major government building? I live only to serve your will!" 

            "Wastefully cheerful," Ilpalazzo said, pushing his glasses up and dropping the rope.

            "Not the rope, please!" Excel pleaded.

            Ilpalazzo pulls the rope anyway and Excel drops down. Water is heard a moment later. "Ack, what's this? Sharks with lasers attached to their freakin heads and ill-tempered Sea Bass?!" Excel shouts.

            "What, who's idea was that?" Ilpalazzo asked. "I specifically requested leeches."

            A few moments pass by in which lasers and other noises are heard from down in the pit, then Excel climbs out, beaten, burned, bitten, and missing a leg. "I have survived the trial!"

            "Unfortunately…" Ilpalazzo lamented. "Anyway, for today's mission. I want you two to find out what is popular amongst high school youth by living and going to school with them."

            "Um…what purpose will that serve?" Excel asked, confused.

            "Can I answer, Lord Ilpalazzo-sama?" Hyatt asked.

            "Yes of course, Hyatt."  
  


            "Is it because once we take over we will have to dispose of these interests in order to keep the ignorant masses from being distracted?"

            "Very good, Hyatt."  
  


            "Thank…" Hyatt drops dead.

            "Ack, not again!" Excel begins performing poor quality CPR. "Breathe, breathe, breathe…" Excel passes out.

            "Hmph….you two are useless," Ilpallazo says, pushing his glasses up again.

            "Gomenasai, Lord Ilpallazo," Excel said, jumping to her feet (her other leg mysteriously reappeared).

            "Anyway, you will be staying at the Hinata Hot Springs and going to the same high school as the girls there. Have fun," Ilpalazzo says, pulling a lever and launching Excel and the still-dead Hyatt out of the roof and into the air.

************************************************************************

            "Breakfast, everyone!" Shinobu called, placing food out on the table.

            "Smells great, as always," Naru complemented, sitting at the table.

            "Yeah. By the way, did I tell you guys that we're receiving two new tenants today," Keitaro announced as he sat at the table.

            "Ooooooooooooo, when do they come?" Su asked, clinging onto Motoko who looks rather annoyed.

            "They should be here any minute now…" Keitaro broke off as two girls came crashing through the ceiling, landing on the table and breaking it. One has golden hair and one has blue hair. Both are now mysteriously dressed in schoolgirl uniforms.

            Motoko comes rushing down the stairs with here sword drawn. "What was that noise? Is Urashima doing something perverted again?"

            "Ack! No, not me!" Keitaro yells, cringing in fear.

            Excel looks up at everyone. "Oh, hi there! I'm Excel Excel, secret agent for the secret ideological organization Across. First name Excel, last name Excel, or just Excel for short…wait, no I'm not! I mean, my name is Excel, and this is Hyatt, pleased to meet ya!"

            "I'm Urashima Keitaro, the landlord here. It's…erm…nice to meet you, too," Keitaro says, getting a nosebleed because of the position Hyatt and Excel have fallen in.

            "Where do you get off getting a nosebleed from that?" Naru shouts, punching Keitaro in the face.

            Motoko inhales deeply after realizing the position of the two. "Lesbians? How dare you allow lesbians in here!"

            "Huh? We're not…" Excel says, confused.

            "Don't feed me your lies, just stay away from me!" Motoko storms out of the building.

            "I'm sorry about that, sometimes she can be a little moody," Keitaro says; now back at what used to be the table. "You two should get to school, though. Just follow Motoko to find your way."

            "Yes, Mr. Landlord person sir!" Excel says, jumping up to her feet and saluting. "C'mon, Hyatt!"

            "Yes senior," she says, rising from the ground and leaving.

            Naru watches them leave. "Well they're weird enough."

            "Like you aren't?" Keitaro mutters.

            "What was that!?" 

            "Err…nothing. I'm gonna go fix the roof."

Meanwhile….(I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, a-dee-da-dee-a-dee-da-dee)

            "Er, senior?"

            "Yeah, what is it, Hyatt?"

            "Aren't those our neighbors, Mr. Watanabe, Mr. Iwata, and Mr. Sumiyoshi?" Hyatt points to three people walking down the street.

            "It would appear so, but why are they here? Perhaps it's some plot to foil our plans….Holy Cripes! What are those two doing here?" Excel notices two girls walking behind the three men, one who's unusually quiet and one who's unusually hyper. "They died, dammit!"

            "Let's go say hi." Hyatt's already closed half the distance between them.

            "No, idiot. They can't know we're here. We must take cover." Excel grabs a bird and plucks two of its feathers, sticking them in her hair. "Now we'll be unnoticeable."

            "Um, senior, wouldn't those bush costumes in that store window be better?" Hyatt suggests.

            "No! Bushes don't walk down the streets! Bird feathers are better."  
  


            "You're so smart, senior!" Hyatt exclaims, plucking two more of the bird's feathers.

            Excel releases the bird, which flys off and takes a crap on her head. "Just beautiful…"

            Excel and Hyatt begin walking down the street, gaining strange looks because of the bird feathers. As they walk by Watanabe and his group, Excel gives them the finger. "Why that little…hey, it's Ms. Hyatt! Hey…" Sumiyoshi covers his mouth.

            "What did you do that for, you fat bastard!"

            Sumiyoshi holds up two signs. One reads "We can't blow our position." The other says "Call me fat again and I'll rip your nuts off." Then two other hands come up, holding a cheesesteak sub.

            "Fine, and where the hell did the extra hands come from?!" Watanabe yells, gaining inquisitive stares from passers by.

Back at Hinata Sou….(Here they are all standing in a row)

            Keitaro's up on the roof patching the holes from Excel and Hyatt when a small yellow being in a pink diaper approaches him. "Puuchuu!"

            "What?"

            "Puuchuu!"

            "I can't play right now, I'm busy."

            "Puuchuu!" Hits Keitaro across the head, leaving a bump.

            "Ow, you little bastard!" Keitaro picks the Puuchuu up and tosses it off the roof.

            The Puuchuu lands face down and begins bleeding. "Damn, why he gotta throw me so hard?" Then it dies.

At the High School…(Big ones, small ones, round ones, HEY!)

            "Well, here we are Hyatt!" Excel shouts triumphantly.

            "Yay senior!" Hyatt shouts as they enter the school.

            Motoko cuts them off. "So, stalking me were you? I'll have your heads if you keep this up!"

            "Ack! No! We…were…uh…told to follow you by the landlord type person so we could get to the school!"

            Motoko backs down some. "If I catch you following me again, I will have to hurt you. I don't want anything to do with your sick lesbian games!" She walks off.

            "Hey Hyatt?"

            "Yes Senior Excel?"

            "Do you think she's a covert agent working for another organization with aspirations of city domination who wants to take down Across in order to make it easier for her organization to take over?"

            "I don't know, senior, we should keep an eye out."

            "Good idea, Hyatt! Now to school we go!"

            "One last thing, senior. What about Menchii?"

            "Oh don't worry about her, I'm having her shipped here."  
  


In the back of a truck…(Come Mr. Tally man tally me banana…)

            Menchi is busy trying to gnaw through the cage she is being transported in.

End Chapter 1

Today's experiment…..Not over yet

So….how'd you like it? Tell me, tell me, tell me! I wanna know! Ahem, okay, seriously, reviews and suggestions are welcome. Want me to bash someone from another anime? Suggest it and I may do it! Well, anyway, review and suggest, and Chapter 2 will be around some time before the end of January (hopefully).


	2. High School Pandemonium

Note: For those who don't know, Puuchuus are little yellow bear-like aliens in pink diapers that are a constant plague in Excel Saga. They're just so cute!!! Kawaii! But they're annoying!! They only say Puuchuu! But when you kill them they make funny comments!! That's all. 

Chapter 2: High School Pandemonium

Phoenix: *breathing heavily* Damn it! How'd those bastards Rikdo and Akamatsu escape? Now they've got the damn police after me!  
  


Puuchuu: Puuchuu!

Phoenix: What?

Puuchuu: Puuchuu!  
  


Phoenix: You let them go?

Puuchuu: Puuchuu, Puuchuu!

Phoenix: Damn stupid bastard! And you're annoying, die! *pulls out rocket launcher and shoots Puuchuu straight in the face*

Puuchuu: Don't a fire explosives in a close range, boy!!

Phoenix: Why aren't you dead? *shoots Puuchuu again*

Puuchuu: You a dirty bastard, you hurt me bad!

Phoenix: *fires rocket launcher multiple times until only a crater is left where the Puuchuu stood* Okay, now that he's dead I'm gonna split. Enjoy chapter 2!!  
  


*Cue Love Hina opening*

*Cue Excel Saga opening*

            "High School, High School, Excel and Hyatt in High School!" Excel chants while walking down the hallway.

            "Um, senior, didn't you graduate from High School way back in Episode 1?" Hyatt asks.

            "Yeah? And what's your point?" Excel snaps, looking hurt.

            "I was just wondering senior, that's all."

            People are staring at Excel as she skips and spins through the hallway. Motoko is hiding behind a corner. "I knew those two dirty lesbians were going to try to pull me into their dirty games! Well I don't want anything to do with them. They'll pay dearly," she mutters, sliding away.

            Excel stops and shivers. "Is something wrong, senior?" Hyatt asks.

            "I just got a bad feeling, or maybe it's that open window! Who opened that window?" Excel points to a window on the other side of the hall.

            Out of nowhere (and literally nowhere) comes a basketball, which hits Excel in the head and knocks her to the ground. "Dammit, who throws a basketball at someone?"

            More basketballs begin raining down on Excel and Hyatt. They run into a classroom and slam the door. "I…think…we're…safe…" pants Excel.

            "Wrong. You dirty lesbians, how dare you stalk me in my own school?!" Motoko walks out of a dark corner with her sword drawn. "You will pay the price."

            "Wait, we're not lesbians!!" Excel yells.

            Out of nowhere come Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. "Did somebody call for lesbians?" they say in unison.

            "No!!!!!!!" Motoko yells, sending the two flying out of the window and into oblivion. "I despise gays of all types!"

            The classroom door flies open and in steps a blond haired man in a yellow/red silk suit. "Hi, I'm Daily Wong. Did someone say they were gay?" 

            "No!!!" Excel hollers, punching the guy through the same window. "Who gave them permission to do a cameo, anyway?"

            Excel and Hyatt turn back to Motoko who now has them lined up. "Wait, what are you going to do?" Excel shouts while Motoko charges.

            The two Across agents are sent flying out of the window and into?????

            Motoko sheaths her sword and leaves. She's now headed for…

            Hispanic man pops his head in…

            "Why haven't you given me, Pedro, any screen time? Pedro is a character on Excel Saga, too! I deserve screen time!"

Phoenix: Erm….Security?

            "Hey, take your hands off Pedro! Pedro wants his lawyer…and his Mommy.

Phoenix: Sorry bout that. Here's the story.

Back at Hinata House…(It's the hard knock life for us, it's the hard knock life for us…)

            "Keitaro, I'm gonna beat your face in!" Naru shouts as she chases Keitaro around the Hinata Sou. (Keitaro had accidentally walked in on her in the hot springs).

            "It was an accident, I swear!!!" Keitaro yells back. "But what a lovely accident it was."

            Keitaro suddenly runs into Kitsune and falls to the ground. "Hm? What's the rush, Keitaro?"

            Keitaro looks over his shoulder just in time to see Naru's fist heading for his face. The next thing he knows, he's soaring through the air. "Dammit, how do I end up like this?" he thinks as he flies into the stratosphere.

Meanwhile, on a beach in southern Spain…

            "Oh Ms. Will, Pedro feels so forgotten. Nobody wants him…"

            "That's not true, Mr. P, I still love you," says the Great Will of the Macrocosm. 

            "But Pedro still misses his son, and sexy wife!"

            The Great Will hugs Pedro and they watch the setting sun. The chatter of small voices begins to echo around them. "Ms. Will, do you feel as if someone was watching us?" Pedro asks.

            "Now that you mention it…"

            Pedro turns to see a large group of Puuchuus surrounding them, chanting "Puuchuu, Puuchuu," in their annoyingly cute voices.

            "Aw no, Pedro's life suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!"

Today's experiment…Still not finished, dammit!

Kay, I began to run out of ideas, so I had to cut this chapter short. It may be a while before I post again, because I have to think of some new material. So until then…Obey the Fish!


End file.
